Here are some tips on how we can control our tongues and increase in patience both in our communication with others and within ourselves:
1. Think
The phrases “think before you speak” and “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all” seemclichéd, but hold a lot of weight in the life of Muslims. It has sadly become common to be irritable when we are fasting, so we tend to snap quicker and say things we don’t really mean. In order to combat this, think about what you are about to say before you open your mouth. It sounds simple, but we have become so accustomed to speaking without thinking that words just seem to fly out of our mouths before we know it.
Tip: Try to take a couple moments before you speak to evaluate whether what you are about to say is beneficial or necessary. Use your hunger, weakness, tiredness (whatever it is that you’re feeling) to prevent you from opening your mouth unnecessarily!). Spend more time doing dhikr, or thinking, or contemplating than wasting time on unnecessary speech, which is not beneficial and potentially harmful.
2. Apologize
Hard as it may be, if we do happen to say something that is hurtful to someone, just simply apologize. Whether it was what you said or how you said it, remind yourself to apologize for your misbehavior if you feel like you stepped out of line (regardless of whether or not the other person shows that they feel hurt or upset). This can have nothing but positive effects. Many of us have trouble apologizing to people and accepting our mistakes so it will both humble us and also ensure that we are more careful next time, because it can be pretty uncomfortable to accept your mistake and verbalize it. Secondly, it can help better your relationship with the other person, because you are showing that you are aware of their feelings and that you care about them.
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